The disconnect.

So let’s talk about women and men shall we?

Now I’m older... no, let’s be blunt, I’m old. That’s all there is to it.

I’m closing in on 60 these days and 60 while I would like it to be young is anything but.

Now, I work in a place with a slew of people in their 20’s, and the thing of it is, as much as they may look upon me as Methuselah I still have eyes and I still can appreciate a woman’s beauty.

I guess that simply makes me a pervert. Maybe I’m a dirty old man.

Look, youth is beauty. I know we want to talk about how it isn’t but it’s really a denial of everything that we are as a species. There are things that are hard wired into us, as much as people would want to ascribe these lofty attributes to us we are in essence animals as much as we would like to escape that.

On a level, I don’t know if that’s especially an unhealthy thing to tell you the truth although I’m sure there are feminists in the audience who would vehemently disagree with me.

There was this moment in Jean Luc Besson’s Lucy that addressed this...  and it’s interesting in the sense that we as a species don’t want to acknowledge it because we are supposed to be that much better than the animals we really are.

I don’t know what women want anymore.

Really.

I know what women believe men want though.

And the truth of it is, now that I’m older I think about what men want and really what they want is for women to be happy. Maybe that sounds very simplistic on some level but you know I haven’t run across a man yet that doesn’t want a woman he’s with to be happy.

Now, what the definition of happy is may be different depending on who you ask but unless someone is damaged in some way, why would you want someone ot be miserable and be with you?

I get it, there are fucked up people all around us. There are people who beat their partner. There are people who satisfy themselves by lifting themselves up at the expense of diminishing their partners. Their shit, I get it.

But, I haven’t run across the majority of men who are like that.

I like women. Seriously, as a man, I can just stare at you and appreciate a women’s beauty. I’m wired that way. As an artist, I can appreciate a beautiful body whether it’s a man or a women. Maybe that makes me bisexual in nature. There is something in someone who takes care of their body that I have to appreciate.

I am unsure of what I wanted to say with this. Strange I know but sometimes I just can’t remember.

Once a long time ago, I was talking to someone about going to a nude beach. I’ve been to a nude beach (actually there’s one really funny story about that I can remember) but the thing of it is when I was talking to the person in question, one of the things I was telling them is our bodies are very much like a suit of clothes and that some of us are very well dressed and the epitome of sartorial splendor while other are threadbare.

I am not so consumed by ego as to have any illusions about the state of my physique, I am more to the threadbare end of the spectrum than sharply dressed. Oddly enough, I dated a porno actress for a brief time who very much wanted me to show my talents on film but as I told here I just couldn’t see people paying to see me have sex (no matter how good I might be at it).

I always liked going to drawing class and I always appreciated a lot of the models, especially the women because they were just amazing and beautiful. There’s a lot to be said for beautiful young women.

I am over 60 now and honestly, I don’t understand women any more than I did when I was 13.

Really.

There are times I think I do but then, reality comes crashing in and I realize I have only been suffering from delusions.

Anyway, I love women. I don’t know where I was heading on this one but I sure do miss having a woman as a part of my life.